toOk back my chem today...
ermx dunno whether to luff or cry...gOt 51.
tO luff is cOs i finally made it!
I'm out of the failing border~!
i've improved by 15 marks!
To cry is i have sO many careless mistakes..i could have gOtten full marks for my sections on ionic equilibria..as for organic chem, i spent more tym studying but i was stuck most of the tym.
then my mcq was the lowest out of my major test & exam..10..very disappointed indeed but i heard there're pple failing MCQ..

what's the world coming to?
this time's MCQs are all sO hard..hahha..

hOhOx.
now i'm gonna talk abt the main topic of this entry: SPORTS.
it reminded me of the reading programme article i read ytd...
mainly talks abt SPORTS being more than playing, pastimes & bonding..
it has more hidden agendas..sO tt lower the integrity of sports itself.

today i cried during trng..literally in front of almost everyone(or almost everyone saw it).
couldn't control myself...i was actually quite surprised i let it all out...lOlx.
cOs i was doing harai & there're sO many mistakes at 1 shOt..then i've been sticking to this throw for like mths & no results came out of it..everytym i absorb smth, out comes the other.

sO i was sO sick of myself mentally.
but i guess tt's nt the only factOr...
sometimes i feel this CCA is beyond me...like sO many obstacles, so many miracles that needed to be performed.
then coach tan say win or lose doesn't matter...hmMM..
then jacq said she's nt in cOmpetiton so the judo trngs have become meaningless..
now this is the real meaning of SPORTS.

esp when it comes to serious play, SPORTS become competition, survival of the fittest, expectations, business, politics, economics...all jumbled into 1.
it's diff when u play badmintion wif ur frens 2 keep fit & when u play it cOS u must win the finals...
i guess everyone knows tt...hhaha.
and yes, judo becomes serious play for me...

wells i tink it's the pressure & expectations(not motivation & goals) that made things real hard.
just felt insecure at times, like i have nO goOd throw..
just felt incompetent like i'm nt quick or strong or flexible enuff.
just felt pressurized when time is going against me & there's A lvls...

but yes, tml will be a better day!
& challenges make a man stronger~

boOhoO.
not done with block tests yet..
gOt an 8 for econ mcq..aiiie mus retake on sat.
& things aren't loOking sO goOd for tt subject..gEEex.

really wonder how i fared fOr chem...
quite a number of pple failed the MCQ.
& GP! no news of GP..weird~

had orientation today..
OMG. kenna the forfeit & i'm supposed 2 pOle dance...AHHHhHHH...
hOw 2 dance when already like pOle..carn feel sexy at all.hahaa
qinqi Oso dun dare dance! *points points*

then we played violent games..
like violent monkey..& violent captain's ball..
lOlx..

we also had water bOmbing time..
that 1 was total crap..haha i guess everyone had fun!
& i got splashed at wee keat twice by the bomb & a pail of water..waHHHh!..
then the other grp use cold water as bOmb..brRRr...can shiver like mad.
but it was fun becos it's drizzling & stuff..then can see puddles of water everywhere.hahaa..sO fun 2 de ashi barai those big puddles~
cOs we weren't wearing shoes & socks...made things better!

jus quite disappointing that nt all the j1s were present..
but at least i rmb almost all their names nOw..heEEx.
& there's always a confusion betw Andy & Eddie..esp when playing wackO..lOlx~

stupid. >.<
come to skoO...hardly anyone recognise me!!!

reached skoO...wenyong was peering sO hard then he realised it was me!!!
he's nt the only 1, lOlx..tink jeslin, jacq & toOn...
ricky even worsE! that stupid cockroach..he walked PAST me when i said "hi"...
i was almost in tears...

kitty even went "OMG"..
then i hav a few pple (whom i dunno) loOking hard at me..
HEY!! i belong to this skoO u noe!

valmond even ran away & called me "ghost!!!"
eEEEk..managed to step on his foOt.
nO choice mus tie hair during judO..boO...& it's like such a tiny ponytail..reminds me of Boo in monster.inc..

mr Ong was the worse..
ass..
he said wad i did 2 my hair..it loOks "fuzzy"...
i couldn't dO my chem stuff after that..lOlx..
then he started talking abt how ionic bonds help in rebonding & making hair smoOther..-_-'''

was quite glad today..
almost had a heart attack when i realised we're getting our maths test..
i got a C!!! & it's nt a 55 kind of C but a 60 kind of C..whEEE..
realised could have gotten B..OMG.
althO it's nuttin 2 flaunt to some..but it's nt easy from an E (used 2 b O pass) to a C!!

got a better chance to tok 2 some of my juniors today..
esp wif leonard & yuda..
hahaha..leonard's 'gay' & yuda well, toO serious..
he was actually discussing abt my judO camp shirt..o.O tt's like june~
& he actually nailed it "u noe...u shld make a black shirt with white words"

hOpefully i get to noe my juniors during orientation~
yIkes. tml's my test fOr econs..
dey changed the qns!!!
hopefully smth more manageable & nt some screwed up essay qn...

haix "lovers in paris" is getting mOre sad...
if one sided love is sO painful, might as well dun lOve...
becos of that person, u're losing ur smiles & replacing them wif sadness~

poOr su hyuk...he lOst his memory..carn recognise his uncle & tailing..
mayb it's better that way..
guess qinqi's feeling pretty jealOus now! heEEX!

it's the day.
wOW..this week seems 2 be the week of life changing decisions..lOlx.
went to cut my hair at last(rmb-ed i told someone cutting my hair is worse than randori-ing for national indiv...lOlx).

the whole time i kept telling the hairstylist to layer & thin..
lOls..until she was like "har?!?! still wanna thin?"
sO in the end, i carn tie my hair...
wonder wad am i going to do for judO..
it's still lOng but i carn tie!!!
>.<

*gulp* i hope change is goOd.

realised i have alot of math stuff to do!
maths file..maths prelim papers (i left 3 qns i tink) & new maths tutorial..
& i'm nt ready fOr econs yet..>.<
& there's judo tml..will be back home only at 8 plus.
guess can only breathe when block test for me is over..

dun seem 2 b taking things easy these days..
like smth is suffocating but i dunno wad issit..
i guess it's all the confusion...
jus hOpe things will b more stable in a couple of days~

zZz..was typing the entry when the comp jus shut down on me! o.O
sO gotta retype...haizzz...

went out early morning at 10am for excO meeting 2 discuss abt judo camP.
dihua & valmond wasn't there!
dihua was unwell..as for valmond, he jus woke up 1+ pm..
wells. no comments on that anymore.

gOt a few highlights, rather different frm last yr's camp..
nO treasure hunt! lOlx..
but a couple of exciting stuff..heEex.
& a coOler judO tee shirt,i assure that. (rough idea given by sul~)
as usual, movies..more video screEning & stuff..hOpe the foOd's gonna b better...

went to sakae 2 eat after that wif qinqi, kitty, jeslin,jessie & jaren~
yummy yummy!
gOt my fave cha sOba..but sO sad.
nO maguro..-_-''''
but i have a new lOve..the salmon + avocado was nice!!
played the stupid zhong1 ji2 mi4 ma3..
the 1st penalty was eating a wasabi filled octopus ball..
OMG. kitty was the 1st 2 gO & he guessed the nO. correctly..hahahaha!!!

then the 2nd was watermelOn wif soya sauce & mayonnaise..
waha...jeslin had no choice but 2 eat that cos when it was her turn, the no. is from "32-34"!!!
haha..
then stupid jessie said the next 1 shld b ask for the opposite sex no.

& i got that 1.
argHX...
wells, didn't wanna be a spoilsport..
had 2 ask frm a skoOboy..>.<
& dey were acting like kids..
aiya..nvm.
lOlx.

sadly, no ice cream on the hse today...but mOchi..
glad that i had some baileys ice cream before sakae..scrumptious!

can't gO out wif my sec skoO frens tml..
cOs ytd then i realised how lil i'll hav for ecOns if i go out wif them..
yeEa.
then there's like judO on mon..& i won't b able 2 study..cOs i'll b sO shagged.

hO wells.
this is it. i'm cutting my hair...soO scared..
it's worse than national indiv..lOls.

lOls..went to qinqi hse today 2 braid my hair..
OMG.
it's THE DAY.lOlx.

then cOs jeslin was late & toOk very long 2 braid my hair..
we reached the place 15mins late..but weighing's nt even started.
HO manx.
ahhaa & the weighing scale is really cocked up..i'm 2kg lighter!!!
nOt a happy thing when u're playing judO & heavier weight cat..heEx.

my 1st match was against a blue belt china girl.
& 2nd with a brown belt..

i lOst to the blue 1 by groundwork...
quite sad cOs i'm really trying my best to struggle both of us out of the red mat...but i'm practically stuck there..her hold is toO strong.
but during that match, i managed to kosoto gari her..hEHx.
SADLY, only a yukO cOs she fell to her side...

then the brown belt ones..
er i realised she's more hyper & quick & strong..lOlx.
then she threw me with an ippon that i could hardly escape..hahaha
kitsOn say he couldn't even see my bOdy when she hugged me..
upper body was trapped..then like slow mOtion..i feel myself falling..
tt's really a waste..lOlx.

shiyun played rather aggressively...
she injured her lip & was bleeding like mad..
stained her gi & opponent's (naomi's) gi as well..
really tiring manx.

seeing qinqi play Oso very tiring..
lOlx..
her 1st match wif vicky was okie..but 2nd with nicola..omg the 2 of them were like unbeatable.
but in the end, she lOst to nicola with an ippon...
i dun tink it's gotta do with the technique & strength cOs dey're both the same standard.

like sul said...luck wasn't on our side.
Other than qinqi who won a silver...none of us gOt anything..
the guys had it tough..
seeing the way the opponents play..it's like suicide sometimes..

ahaha..hanjie's match quite funny.
opponent sort of like swing him..but becOs his pants are going to drOp,
he saved his pants by doing a nice breakfall..lOlx
& the other guy gt an ippon jus like that! Ack. >.<

was extremely frightened when the extra liteweight fought & we kept lOsing..
& i kept seeing the way sul reacted..i was almOst on the verge of tearing...
then when dey cry,made me even more emOtional.

pigged out at kfc..
haha..sul told us quite alot of stuff..like how ny judo was formed, his army stuff..his poly stuff..
hOw to cheat in the test..haha..teaching us bad things..
the funniest was he joined the mexican dance in pri skoO!
OMG..hahahaha...that was extremely hilarious..
couldn't believe my ears.
HO manx.
lucky it wasn't social dance.

yay!
then he treated us famous amOs coOkies..
cOs he asked us whether wanna eat nt..then i asked if he's treating..
yay! picked 4 types of coOkies..(for the 4 of us)
each toOk a bag of 100g home..lOlx..sO guilty..
cOs he spent quite an amt o.O..

I guess i really learned alot today..
at least i didn't let myself down..
i managed to dO stuff tt i'll nv dO during normal trng/randori.

heEex.
sad jy isn't mine..but hO wells!

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You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

hEeX. toOk the hse test frm kitty...


HO manx.god bless me tml pls...
i really need it.

hmMm.
1st day of blOck test..OH wells..have neutral feelings abt it..tt's nt a bad thing.
did the qn on man & wOman for cOmpo..lOlx...
but i dunno whether i was out of point..quite risky actually...shucks.

cOmpre was...-_-'''
the tOpic was actually on racism..Omg..that word had been pOpping my head for the whole today before i tOok paper 2...
application was Okie..but the qns & summary are killers...
bLEAH.

it was maths after...
in fact i tOt time passed a lil toO slowly...lOlx..
this is the 1st tym i felt this way...
i guess the qn that makes me gO mad was that part on maclaurin's expansion...i totally had nO clue how 2 go on to prove (ii).
& my functions & trigO had gOne a lil rusty~!

then there's this teacher (itchy hands) went to fiddle with the lights & o.O black out..
toOk the opportunity to talk to pple..but of course honest enuff not tO loOk & compare answers..heEX.
but that whOle period was really funny cOs of the pple at the back making weird sounds & comments..
yay! then we gOt extra 10 mins!

gaHH..while studying in the canteen..a j1 approached us, asking whether dey're pple sitting at our table...OMG. he reminds me of my hk idol, Sammul Chen...lOlx~!
toO bad he's nt as tall as Sammul & sObx, younger than me.
whEee~

1 & only judo trng session..
lOlx..dunno randOri how many times!!!
i tink gt 9 tyms bahx...or issit 10?
lOlx..but anyway, my stamina is still nt enuff manx..
after like 2 i mus rest le...

& when i'm breathless, i carn think le..omg.
then sul keep saying "i give up easily & have half hearted throws"...
sObx..
i Oso dowan 2 b like tt..
but it's a lousy habit..Ho manx.

played without my belt most of the tym..
didn't really care how unglam i loOk..lOlx.
i dun even tink i loOked like a girl..hahaha...
but hey! i'm 35% masculine..woOhoo~
& kitson actually tinks i am like a guy..boO him!

had been tOking abt jiang yue..
how 2 boys wanted 2 noe her badly..
& i really really want to fight wif her..heEex.
then dey use me as bait..to get 2 noe her better..dOts..
whO knows..maybe she prefers me..
acK.
i'm still str8 k!

wad! only 2 days since i last blog???
Ho wells...i'm glad time is passing this slowly..heEex.

went to suntec ytd cOs dey hav this comp. fair..
bought the printer ink & yay!
i bought the bluetoOth adapter at last..
but jus toO lazy 2 dl & use it.

heHx.
bought slipper toO at the shOe sale..
i mus say i lOVe it very much..it's pink(can't help it!) & toO girly fOr taste..
OH NO...wad has happened to the manly me!??!

had tOts abt cutting my hair ytd..
i carn believe i'm actually tinking abt it..shows i'm growing more & more disgusted with my hair...
sigHx.
i'm still nt willing to cut my hair..

it's been like 3 yrs since i last saw my hair in its natural state...
i am sO nt willing to cut all the rebonded hair away & maintain my own.
shall see hOw bahx...

grRRr..
ahHh..sO unlucky..
saw the bout list ytd..it's like -_-''' for me.

1st i have 2 fight wif this RJ girl called Liu Li..
i hav this feeling she's very pro lar!!
& if i won (tt's like 5% chance)..
guess who i have to fight with next?
i have to fight wif Jiang Yue!!!

OMG.
i am sO DEAD.

I mean i assume she'll win her opponent..
& if she doesn't, means her opponent is even more pro!!!
OMG.

it's like i'm sending myself to die.
can't even get a bronze..

great.
then only left with 1 trng..
hahahahaha...waHHHhhHH..
just my luck.

zZz..wad a disappointment..
sO lil j2s turn up for judo today!
i wonder wad happened to tt whole bunch of them...less than half the guys turn up!
but at least a few seniors came back..like ben,panda & yan ren..phil was also..haha..they all wore white belt..soO *noOb* & they all loOk alike frm far..lOlx!

had CCA bazaar..
response was average..abt 70 signed up..
but sadly, only arnd 15 turned up...loOking at the weights..i guess our seniors did a better jOb..
many belong to lightweight/ extra liteweight cat..gEez.

guess somehOw this batch ain;'t doing sO well..
we've done better than the prev bazaar..still many were nt interested..
if they were, they would sign up & come for trng themselves~

guess we have to do mass sms again!
or ask the captain make public announcment..hEex.

nO randori today..
but learnt how 2 tackle the leg & some of sul's "money moves"...lOlx..
i tink the coOlest was the rolling 1..gahHh..but nt up 2 tt standard yet.
trng was more tiring at the beginning...made to train speed instead of strength~

omg. o.O
had green pearl milk tea after tt & "tasty" biscuits..
i shldn't have!
cos when i came home, there's gambeng soup (mutton soup) & indian rOjak..
omg..i feel sO guilty..soO damaging to my health!!!

haIx.
block test coming....
guess i shld tink more of skoO related stuff instead of wanting to go out.
in fact, i jus wanna be more geek for now.

wells..
today's trng was ermx..tough but valuable..lOlx.
argHx.
did moving uchikomi..more i did..worse it gets..
& when it comes 2 partnering darren..i carn even throw anymore..

randOris..esp groundwork was a maniac...
qinqi is a BIG BULLY.
her legs are sO strong tt coach tan's advice of "hold the legs/ push the legs 1 side" will nv work!

ahHh..sO many sensitive parts kenna attack!
when jeslin kicked me...i groaned in pain..
it's like even if i'm nt a guy i still feel intense pain..shows how hard she kick me...boOohoOo.

j1s participated in it toO..lOlx..
they were sO funny..some of them managed 2 pin their seniors down for a while..woOhoO!.

& sul was ever sO coOl wif his grndwork..
he always love 2 spin the person wif his legs in the air..
arghHhx.
admirable!
every bit of him is sO admirable...why does such an almost perfect person exist?!?! lOlx...

hard frm reliable source no.1 all the bad stuff abt a person.. which i find it nt easy 2 believe...
wells..tt's cOs all along my impression was goOd..& now,makes me sO confused..lOlx.

beEn interested in squash lately..
even thO i only played once last fri..wanna learn how 2 tackle the corners..wheeEe~
anybody else interested?

wake up early 2 gO to buona vista for grading!!!
omg...horrible impressions frm the start right 2 the end...
waited eons for the bus 191 & when it finally came & we reached the place, i guess everyone's jaws just drOp..lOlx.

better put: it looks like some ancestral hse...
worsely said: it's like a slum..

but at least the toilet facilities were coOl..
it isn't stinky & wet..

the dojo was a rather letdown...
the sides were peeling off & the mats were like...i wonder wad's underneath those mats..hahaha
cOs when we jump, there's like spring & everyone will start bouncing toO..
& the mats has a gradient o.O..

anyways, we waited like almost 2 hrs for our turn!!!
omg...spent the time talking, sleeping & listening 2 music...
& the pple there were rather fierce & frustrating..esp that indian guy who tested us..
he is sO freaky...

when i was throwing, he stoOd behind me & i tink was staring..
sO afraid i would haywire..lOlx..
it was koshi-guruma..then the 1st time i did wasn't smoOth cOs i didn't lift jacq up..
then he stared! omg.
luckily the 2nd time was oOkie.

then it was the groundwork...
he said "kami shiho katame"..didn't noe wad went wrong wif me...
i actually wanted 2 dO "kuzure yoko shiho katame"..cOs i mistoOk kami for side 4 quarter..ahHhhH...

luckily i was okie at the end.
phew.realised my mistake soOn enuff.

tOt it was the end..then the judge said break for 1 hr..come back randOri..
they said they were tired.
everyone was sO mortified!
that's cos we're planning 2 leave & have lunch outside..

the eating hse was cut throat!
i plate of fried can b almost 5 bucks..
ice cream sold at 60cents outside are priced at $1!!!
wanted to eat cornetto..but that was $2.50

& the choc milk was pathetic...$1.50 for 135ml ?
dang.
was sO pissed wif their arrangement.
when we got back, it was the orange belt grading!??!?!
we tOt dey forgot abt us...
then they said we're supposed 2 randori wif them, sO dey need 2 dO grading 1st..
!!!!!!!
qinqi jus made an excuse that we have some skoO stuff..then we left.
OMG.
totally wasted our time there.

by then it was alredi past lunch hr at pastamania..didn't really have appetite/ moOd 2 do anything..
i just wanted 2 go home & sleep.

this yr's grading was unexciting as compared 2 last yr's.
i guess no one actually rejoiced that we're now officially orange belters..
hO wells.

hmMm..
kitson told me smth today which made me rather demoralised & sad(okie mayb nt that word..but it's a negative feeling).
lOlx..guess i just need time 2 accept & digest.
but it's hard when it's someone frm my sec skoO!
argHx.
nvm.

judO was slack today..
sOrt of.
i had a hard tym rmb-ing the groundwork(newaza) stuff...
but in the end, i tink i can cOpe wif it bahx...

i loOk like idiot when doing front breakfall..
cOs when i fall, i loOk like i'm gonna do push ups..
argHHhx.
then sul said "who says grading cannot fail?!?!"
lOlx...

yay! we were released at 7pm tOday..
the sky was still brite!
that means we dun hav 2 hurry to take the stupid 156..
& still can gO drinks!

beEn playing with kitsOn's deodOrant..hahaha
lOve the smell of it..it isn't tt masculine lar..
went arnd spraying it on pple..
sO we all smell the same!
heheh...

was gOssiping with kitsOn & qinqi again..
i noe i'm WOLS.
but didn't noe alot of stuff..hEex.

ahH..grading on sat~
perhaps lunch & movie afterwards..wheEe..sounds like some happy expedition!

gonna have a party at 11 march at sec skoo classmate's place.
argHx..
mus b glamour puss/ party girl.
i dun tink i hav prob with clOthes but it's the make up!!!
i accidentally dropped my eyeshadow palette the other day..saDX.
gOt my fave colours...

& she said still gt prizes for best dressed, boOze, r&b music..
sounds like we're holding at a pub rather than her hse...lOlx

watched final destination 3 ytd after skoO before math remedial..
lOlx..it was a rash decision..

only like less than 10 pple watched the mOvie..hahaha
the starting part was BORING...
but overall, the movie was gOry, grOss, disgusting, violent..

i wouldn't say it's a thriller..but more of a freaker..
haha..
happy tree friends in the making..except tt the characters weren't cute..
effects were real, kudOs to that!

guess most of the disgusting parts i rmbed was when the girl was shot by a nail gun (nails punched into her body while she's still alive)..
it was grostesque..
OMG.
toO sudden & toO bloOdy...

& the other one when the guys' head was smashed by a gym machine..
it's like frm a wholesome head into a flattened pancake..
REALLY saw tt.

living ur life in life like that makes ur other issues in life less impt manx..

Ratings: 6.5/10

haha...most of the time,hui min was covering her ears (it's more of the disturbing visual effect actually)..
and her head was like constantly on my shoulder...-_-'''..
but i did scream out loud...
then the two guys beside us were like staring..lOlx.

gahh.
sad.
underworld revolution is m18!!
i lOve tt show..lOve kate beckinsale..
been wanting to see the sequel to the 1st part.
shucKs.

A levels result released today..
guess overall, NYJC wasn't doing as goOd..
haha..but we gt 8 distinctions~!
and most of my seniOrs did well with As & Bs..
devica came back! yay!
& dedy was soO punkish...lOlx.
He was the most handsome guy in skoO today...hahaha.

received my CLAO.
gOt a 2.
was expecting a 4 or 5 given my prOmo & test results...
but yipEe!

my chervil
qinqi* bubbles
kitsOn/ kitty
jeslin/ buttercup
aslany
sOn shahidan
jay
eunice/ braces!
vanessa/ v.t
jessie
vanessa chue
shiyun
jiaying
wan wen
shawn
vicki
jianwei
choon peng
jiun kit/ scuter
weitai
Felicia Chin
samantha
yonghan/ frankie
yanling/ hippo dinosaur
taffy
vivien
aloysius
hikoto
jason

Day by day:

you know i'll be there

hoo la la

START OFF TIGER YEAR

overdose

those little things that

promote promote!

the things people do

craze.

lecturers amaze me.

some facts make you go 'HUH'

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